How may I help you?

I guess at one point or another every retail clerk makes something like this. A place to write down and retell the tales of their many, many customer experiences. Both the good and the bad ones and maybe some of the bits in between. I don't know why, maybe because they're worth retelling or because it's cathartic? Whatever it is, this is no exception to it. I need somewhere to share the little gems of my work days as they come around.

I suppose a little information is important for content and I am in no way claiming that my job is terrible or that I'm even remotely hard done-by with it. I'm fairly certain I'm fortunate enough to be one of those people with a truly enjoyable retail job. And for the most part I like my job. I like what we sell, I like my co-workers, my customers and my employers. It's just once and a while you get one of those customers...

More on that later though, for now let me tell you what I do. I'm a Register Biscuit. "What's a register biscuit?" you ask. Why, a register biscuit is that hapless soul that spends their day standing behind a counter or walking the floor of a store who's only reason for being there is to make sure you find what you need to make your day a little more enjoyable. It doesn't matter what that thing is, it's what we're there for..And to an extent we're there to make sure the store isn't robbed blind.

I know plenty of people think "So what? Anybody can do your job. It doesn't look that hard." Yes, yes anybody can do this job, but how many people actually do? Or want to for that matter? I can tell you that it's not many. And like many jobs it's only as easy as people make it. Retail is no except, in fact, I think it holds especially true due to the very nature of what you're trying to do. Ask anyone that's paid on commission from a department store. That's one type of job that's far more stress then its worth on a lot of levels regardless of how much you can earn with one or two big ticket items. None of that for me, thank you very much.

I make an hourly wage, I mostly have free run of my store with a few exceptions and rules and oh yeah, I sell board games.

Yes, you read that right, board games.

It should be the easiest job in the world! I mean really, how hard is it to just stand there and wring up copies of Risk and Battleship, right?

You have clearly NEVER worked retail if that's your reaction...